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Tennessee
Discovery History Achieving Statehood Tennessee became a state when George Washington (First Republican and Third greatest President named George.) Thought that North Carolina was getting too long. So he sliced it in the east with his Giant Sword of Awesome (which every Republican President afterward got to wield, for obvious reasons.) and he sliced in the West stopping just before the Gates of Hell that spawned Bill Clinton. It lost its statehood when it joined the Confederacy because, as it explained later, they thought they were fighting the evil Emperor Palpitine and his Clone Army. Plus "everybody else was doing it". After smiting the Confederates with a giant fireball, Abraham Lincoln allowed Tennessee to become a state again (the first of the Redneck Nazi states to do so.) after Elvis pleaded with him all night. Tennessee Today Tennessee is one of the largest marijuana producing states in the U.S., ranking in some estimates among the "billion dollar states" with marijuana crops in excess of $1 billion. It is home to the famous (but busted) Pot Cave (link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0GBSeT_QSc) and marijuana has by some estimates supplanted tobacco as the state's leading cash crop. Mild weather, good soil, and plenty of sunshine make Tennessee a great place to grow "dank." Unfortunately the law has not caught up with the spirit of stoner entrepreneurship which can be found in The Volunteer State; marijuana possession remains illegal, and don't even ask the Tennessee state Legislature for sympathy if you're a medical marijuana patient. In 2005, state representatives who are too cruel to consider medical marijuana jumped at the opportunity to tax the stashes of Tennessee citizens, approving an "unauthorized substances" stamp. Citizens caught holding or growing marijuana were subsequently liable in criminal court for possession-related charges, and in civil court for unpaid taxes. The move was widely viewed as a cynical attempt by the legislature to get its hands in the front and back pockets of Tennessee's marijuana smokers - and a state appeals court struck down the drug tax stamp in 2007, calling it double-jeopardy and singing, "doo-waa-doo-waa-doo-waa-doo, doo-waa-doo-waa-doo, doo doo doo doo doo." All that, and it's better than Arkansas........Mississippi......Alabama... Tennessee Landmarks There's this one place called "Firey Gizzard" which is what happens when you eat all those little yellow-green peppers that come with those pizzas at once. ... In 2007, Nashville-based Gaylord Entertainment (NYSE: GET) bulldozed the city's popular landmark musical theme park Opryland USA and replaced it with "Shopryland," a typical suburban mall formally known as Opry Mills. Country music legend Roy Acuff, an Opryland regular who died in 1992, is said by some to have rolled over in his grave after Gaylord's "heartless" move. Thousands of Tennessee children began using methamphetamine about this time, perhaps due to the loss of their favorite place to spend idle summer time. Lacking funds to spend at the new Shopryland, many just go "car shopping" in the parking lot, looking for unlocked doors and things to steal. So, be careful where you park. ... The Great Smokey Mountains National Park in East Tennessee is the most-visited national park in the United States, with 9 million visitors in 2006. Straddling the Tennessee-North Carolina border, the park features hours-long gridlock-style traffic jams with views of breathtaking scenery and abundant wildlife including deer, black bears, raccoons, and what is commonly called a "redneck." The redneck is most easily identified by a pickup truck with a gun rack and a Sarah Palin bumper sticker; a baseball cap; a blaring horn and the tobacco spit which occasional spouts from his window. ... Famous Tennesseans * J.B. Parker- founder of the Bear lovers, and computer geeks. * Shelton Hank Williams III- Entertainer, aka III, aka Hellbilly. A Typical Day In Tennessee Children of Tennessee often get up in the morning and go to school like any U.S. state, excluding California, Florida, Massachusetts, every other state besides Tennessee, Tennessee,etc. As for adults, many wake up to moonshine, eggs, and Bacon in the morning. Approximately 7% of the state still has a hangover, including you. Population of Prostitutes Triples After an ad showing an employee of the street reminding candidate Harold Ford to "call her" aired throughout the state, the population of prostitutes in Tennessee tripled. Census takers were baffled by the phenomenon and have yet to find an explanation. *UPDATE: We have the answer to the mystery!! It's all that hand holding deviancy going around! External Tubes *Charitable Organizations in *Memphis' Schools solves Educashunal Crisis! *Raccoon Ninja destroys city *voter fraud on the rise! *Police to protect the sanctity of our toilets